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Sunday, February 25, 2007

AL GORE, NOMINEE

His film, An Inconvenient Truth, is nominated for Best Documentary Feature in tonight's Oscars.

He had also been nominated for the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize.

On Wednesday, February 28th, I will see him at the University of Miami, and I wish I could nominate him, personally, for the category Best President This Country Never Had.

Aye, aye, sir!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

LIGTA, LIGTAS

Hirap ng tumatanda, nagiging makakalimutin na ako. Grabe as in. Grabe as out. Malimit sa opisina nangyayari na tatayo ako para may iretrieve sa cabinet. Pagbukas ng cabinet, di ko na matandaan kung ano yung kukunin ko. Shet sa pwet na malabnaw, oo. Minsan nga hanap ako ng hanap nung salamin ko, di ko makita, yumpala kaya di ko makita e suot ko. Tas yung cellphone naman andalas kong maiwan sa opisina, pagdating sa opisina kinabukasan, hayos, 20 missed calls na ang lintek. Eto malala, di ko makita yung cellphone sa bahay e sigurado akong di ko naiwan sa opisina. Nasisira na ulo ko (actually e sira na sya nung bata pa ako, binuo lang uli ng panahon) pero di ko pa rin matagpuan. Ginawa ko, tinawagan ko yung number. Nagulantang ako nung kumililing yung bulsa ko.

Tas eto ngayon, nakalmutan ko na may blog pala ako, mariosef, buti na lang di nyo napansin kasi di rin naman kayo nagpupunta dito e.

Minsan lang, nakakatamad talaga magsulat. Nung araw nga sa Pilipinas at me column ako sa isang national magazine, asiwa sa akin yung editor ko kasi linggo-linggo na lang e tatawagan nya ako para i-submit yung article. Minsan pinressure nya ako ng magbuo na raw ng bank - o pondo - ng maraming articles para hindi na nya ako aalipustahin lingg-linggo at marami pa syang ibang dapat pagkaabalahan. E minsan naiirita na rin ako sa pagtawag nya, pero parang antamad ko minsan magsulat. Kasi naman sa lahat ng bagay na kinatatamaran ko, nangunguna na yung pag-iisip.

Ang nagpapa-motivate na nga lang sa akin nun na ituloy yung pagsusulat e ang fan mails (ahem, sakit lalamunan ko). Sabi pa nung idiotor e #2 daw sa popularity yung kolum ko, sagot ko na nga lang sa kanya e, Sobra ka, bat di #1?

Minsan me sumulat sa akin na isang 12 taong gulang na batang taga-Sorsogon. Sabi ko, wahaw, nakakarating pala yung (ku)mag-azine namin dun. Siguraduhin ko daw na sagutin yung sulat, sabi ni idiotor. E di sinulatan ko yung bata. Na-overwhelm siguro ang gaga, di na sumulat ulet. Tas may isa naman na taga-Pangasinan, sumulat din, ihanap ko daw sya ng trabaho. Lintek, ano akala nya sa column ko, classified ads?

And going back to katamaran, parang ganun din ngayon. Pag napa-hiatus ka naman talaga oo, ang hirap bumalik at i-retain ang momentum monumentum. Ang nagpapa-motivate na nga lang sa akin e mahal ko kayo, hehehe, baka nga isa sa inyo jan e yung batang taga-Sorsogon. Wehehe, e di malaki ka na ngayon, wehehe ulet.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

SINTESIS

1. Malapit na naman ang spring training ng baseball. Alam ko kasi kinukulit na ako ni Inang kung kailan kukuha ng ticket sa Grapefruit League para sa spring training ng Marlins sa Jupiter, Florida. Malupit sa baseball tong nanay ko. Alam nya ang kaibahan ng fastball sa curveball, ng changeup sa knuckleball. Tanda nya ang batting average ni Miguel Cabrera last season, tas malaki rin ang galit nya sa NY Yankees.

2. Kung ang University of Massachussetts ay UMass at ang University of Connecticut ay UConn, ano ang University of Tennessee?

3. Kanina habang winewelcome namin ni John (my fellow usher) yung mga parishioners sa simbahan, nagkahuntahan sila nung isang pumasok na mama. Di ko naintidihan yung pinag-uusapan nila pero tipong maraming sinasabi yung mama kay John. Maya-maya nung natapos sila mag-usap, bumalik na sa puwesto si John, katapat ko, sa may pintuan. "That's my doctor", sabi nya. "He's telling me all about me. He knows myself more than I do", dugtong nya. "I'm sure", sabi ko. "And it's not fair because he had seen your ass and you haven't."

4. Ganito siguro ang sasabihin ng isang fire department supervisor sa isang fireman na sisisantihin nya: "You're fired, no pun intended!"

5. Nung kasagsagan ng mga kampon ni Hitler sa Europe, inutusan ni Hitler ang mga Nazi na gahasain ang mga kababaihan sa isang bayan. Utos pa nya na matapos ang panggahasa ay sasabihin ng sundalo sa babae: Nine months from now you will bear a child and you will name him Adolf Hitler, Hail Hitler! E di ganun na nga ang ginawa ng mga gunggong na Nazi soldiers. Isang araw, naispatan ng isang sundalo ang isang patpating babae na uubo-ubo at medyo tisika. Nag-alangan pa syang lapitan ito pero dahil sa takot kay Hitler, ginahasa na rin nya ang babae. Tapos nun sabi nya, Nine months from now you will bear a child and you will name him Adolf Hitler, Hail Hitler? Oh yeah, sabi ng babae sabay ngatngat sa sundalo. This is what I know, pagpatuloy nya. Nine days from now you will have a disease and you will call it syphillis.

6. Yung Hard Rock Casino/Hotel na pinagtigbakan ni Anna Nicole, uhm, malapit lang ang opisina ko dun. May bar dun, Murphy's Law, na madalas naming pagdausan ng happy hour.

7. May bago akong paboritong poet, si Li-Young Lee. Napanganga ako dun sa tula nyang Irises na napasama sa poetry antho ni Czeslaw Milosz na kabibili ko lang, A Book of Luminous Things.

8. Nag-eemerge and mga Vietnamese restaurants dito sa Amerika kaya sabi nila, pagdating sa pagkain Vietnamese is the new Chinese. Madalas kong marinig tong mga pautot na ____ is the new _____, gaya nung isang araw na nag-60 yung isang v.p., sabi nya, 60 is the new 40!

9. Minsang nagpapalipat-lipat ako ng channel ng tv, nachempuhan ko yung isang nag-aaudition sa American Idol. Naka fatigue sya, tas mahaba ang balbas at hawig ni Fidel Castro. Sabi nya, madalas daw syang mapagkamalan, either as Osama, or Castro, or a homeless man. Tas sabi nya, Kunsabagay, lahat naman tayo e homeless. Uy, lalim.

10. Nanonood ako ngayon ng Heat at Spurs. Alam nyo naman yung mga stats tungkol sa mga players, may bago akong narinig. Si Dwyane Wade daw, He makes at least one ridiculously spectacular shot a game.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

10 THINGS ABOUT TODAY

1. Miami is known for its sun, and life is known for its jokes. Miami is hosting tonight's Super Bowl and it hasn't stopped raining since early this morning.

2. To fully appreciate the magnitude of Super Bowl's hype, consider this number: the Summer Olympics is equivalent to 5 Super Bowls.

3. Consumer Alert: Beer, pizza, and wide screen tv are the three products making biggest sales on a Super Bowl Sunday that on any day of the year. On the other hand, the Monday after Super Bowl is when there is a surge in the sales of antacid.

4. Celebrity sightings in South Florida had been a-plenty this past week, and parties in South Beach had been non-stop. What's it with Super Bowl parties, man? Nobody seems to be really interested about the game!

5. As a matter of fact, half of those who will troop to the stadium probably do not have a full grasp of football and its rules, and will show up simply for the hoopla, knee-deep hoopla. And of those watching at homes, half are probably more interested in watching the commercials.

6. A 60-second spot for a commercial is worth millions, and most - if not all - of them will be shown nationally for the first time. One of this has Kevin Federline's who, to the surprise of many, actually had a job for a time.

7. At about 5:00 this fternoon, the streets will already be deserted. Everyone will be at their homes, and most men will be settled on their couches, drinking their beers, and analyzing the game which has not even started.

8. I like Peyton Manning of the Colts because he is a good and humble kid with impeccable lineage, but Devin Hester, my favorite player last year at the University of Miami, plays for the Bears. Canceling each other out, I don't care who wins.

9. I have my 12-pak ready (El Presidente from Dominican Republic), my home-made killer salsa is already processed, the buffalo wings are on their way (flying, haha!), and the special pillow for my back is already flirting with my couch.

10. After I type this I will be on my couch waiting for the big game by continuing to read my read of the moment - The Complete Works of Isaac Babel. Come 6:00 pm I will have to drop everything, Babel included, to follow the game and the hoopla. As I said in #1, life is known for its jokes.